Bonika Wilson believes if somebody wins in business by applying strategic planning and business concepts, their marriages can win in the same fashion. In her best-selling book, Marriage Business: From Proposal to Prosperity Building Your Dynasty the Fortune 500 Way, Wilson explains the difference between leaving a legacy and establishing a dynasty.
“That’s the only way I know how to fix problems is by a plan,” explains Wilson. “Having a strategy. And we don’t have that in our marriage. And I was like, it would be so cool if we had that. So that’s where the idea was birthed, if you will, is going back to like having a strategic plan for businesses. If we could apply that concept in our marriage, would it work? Could it work? Perhaps. And so that was where the idea was birthed. I actually started writing the book over 10 years ago, but didn’t start implementing the work in the foundation, in my own marriage until about six years ago. “We’ve been winning ever since.”
Wilson has over twenty years of leading businesses through complex organizational challenges. Wilson leads a team of veteran consultants that use analytics to offer solutions to change initiatives, DEI, and strategic planning. Previously, Wilson was the Chief Diversity and Inclusion Officer at Invest Atlanta for three years.
Breakthroughs and Revelations
Bonika says after she tried the process herself, she was surprised with how these principles has elevated other relationships.
“I know it works now because I’ve been applying the concepts for six years” explains Wilson. “And then I felt that this is working. God has given me this winning formula for my marriage, and I shouldn’t keep it to myself. So anyways, I will finish the book finally after literally 10 years on this journey. I’m just really excited about being able to share with other people.
And the feedback that we’re getting already, we’re flooded with, ‘Oh my God! I’m using this!’ ‘Oh, my God, this is really working for us!’ We’re doing a whole group now of our couples doing it together. So to get that feedback, that’s really where I’m winning. Versus, ‘it’s great to be winning in your own relationship, or when other people are winning, then that’s really like, I feel like God is using my gift and it’s being used to help others. So I’m excited about it.”
How important is social media in a relationship?
For the career-focused person, Wilson’s book is relatable and real. What is also real in today’s era is the noise from social media. While Bonika says she doesn’t do social media, it does present an avenue to meet with couples.
“My husband and I actually talk about how we show up, what is our brand, and what is our image,” explains Wilson. “The other thing is, I don’t do a whole lot on social media. With regards to this, I like to start doing more conferences and marriage retreats for couples. Because I think that’s where you get the real nuggets.”
Meanwhile, the opposite of the social media coin, there are a plethora of relationship gurus with podcasts. Wilson shared a few keys to the single woman that’s navigating this current climate of toxic relationships, toxic marriages, and toxic messages.
“I would say first, focus on you,” says Wilson. “And in the book, I talked about doing an individual SWOT analysis. I need to know my strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. I need to know about me first and do a good assessment and evaluation of me and what I’m bringing to a relationship before I can even think about what I require from someone else.
How do I strengthen someone else, because when you get into a relationship, now you’re talking about number two: I got to be able to say, and very strongly articulate here’s what I’m doing. This is what I expect. I talk about this in the book, too, is this alignment, you know, having core values and being an ally. In our relationship, before we can talk about a strategic plan, how do you know if you’re in alignment?”
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