Co-parenting can be a very stressful situation for both kids and parents. Trying to manage expectations, respect boundaries, and communicate effectively can seem impossible at times, especially when there is a lot of conflicts.

With the holidays approaching, many kids will be split among caretakers. Sometimes with different parenting styles and the pressure of it all things can become intense. Consequently, making situations worse. This is just one reason why Belinda and Obi Ndu, founders of the Covenant Marriage Academy, have made it their mission to make marriages and co-parenting easier.

Residing in Atlanta, the best-selling authors of Tips On Joining The Secret Society Of Happy Marriages and OutServe Your Spouse” know all about blended families and co-parenting, taking a chance on love, and maintaining long-lasting healthy relationships.

With seven beautiful kids, Belinda and Obi have learned a thing or two about co-parenting and blended families. The lovely couple recently shared a few tips with The Atlanta Voice about how to ensure you have a healthy experience this holiday season.

 

How could two adults come together to make the logistics of co-parenting easier, outside of just thinking about the kids?

The answer to this question is in the question. Don’t just think about the kids. Both parents have to make sure each other wins. Think of co-parenting as a business, if your business partner loses, you are affected as well, so you have to see to it that you AND the other parent both win! Remember your kid(s) will model how they SEE both of their parents interacting way more than how much you teach them!

 

Parents often have different parenting styles. We have all heard stories of a child going to visit one parent, for the holidays, and comes back doing things that aren’t allowed with the custodial parent. What suggestions do you have to combat this challenge?

Both parties must be on the same page. How can two walk together unless they agree? Yes, this is America and every one by law can live however they want, but when a child is being raised in two different households, it’s imperative that both parents communicate and agree on certain details like bedtimes, social media access, diet, etc. The key here is to be intentional. Whatever is not dealt with upfront will deal with both parents on the back end.

 

Many times, the parent who doesn’t spend time or contribute to the child’s well-being will request to spend time, during the holidays, but may not show up. If he/she does show up, it actually creates a problem. What boundaries should the custodial parent enforce to ensure the child is always left in a healthy emotional state? 

The custodial parent has to be responsible for the emotional well being of the child, So initiating a strategy to protect the child has to be sourced from that patent. The strategy should be agreed upon by both parents or the situation will probably get worse. One approach to shifting things could be for the custodial parent to communicate with the other parent saying something like, “I know your heart is in the right place and you want to do the right thing by our baby. But when you promise her/him something you must follow through. When you don’t our child feels this or says that. Is there any way I can help you keep your word or another way you would suggest for US to protect our baby emotionally?”

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There’s no blueprint to co-parenting. But tips, as mentioned above: being on the same page, communicating, working together as a team, and being mindful are sure to guide you, as you not only celebrate the holidays but raise your child.

For more info on Belinda and Obi, please visit https://www.obiandbelindandu.com/. The couple also has a new book coming 2020, “The Breakout Book: The Power Couple’s Diary.”

The Ndu Family (Courtesy photo)

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