Legacy of three sons
By Jamar Robinson, 43, wellness and performance coach, Atlanta, GA
“When I think about fatherhood I think about legacy. I didn’t have much of a relationship with my father when I was coming up, so as I got older and I got more aware I could see the differences between my friends who had fathers in their lives and those who didn’t. As far as confidence, conflict resolution, how they carried themselves and bounced back from hardships and things of that nature.”
“I just try and make sure I spend individual time with each one of my sons. In my three sons (ages 10, 7, and 4) I can see myself in each one of them. My oldest is into sci-fi and photography. My middle son is the action, adventure, superheroes type of kid. My youngest son is the rough and tumble, sports, football, basketball type of kid. Since all three of those kids live within me, when we have individual time we connect on different levels in different ways.”
Unconditional Love
By Solomon Copeland, 64, Respiratory therapist supervisor, Stone Mountain, GA
“Fatherhood is a major responsibility. It is a relationship of unconditional love. I have been blessed to help nurture another life in this world. There’s so much involved from the teaching, nurturing, providing discipline. Also you want to teach them to be true to themselves and have reverence for God. What fatherhood means to me is not an easy and simple question, but I know all of it is consumed with unconditional love.”
Love and Understanding
By Anthony Nwogu, 70, insurance agent, Lithonia, GA
“Fatherhood to me means being always present in my children’s life, guiding them to make right choices in life. Even when they make wrong choices, I will always be there to help them get back on the rails, with love and understanding.”
Attention, Affection, Acceptance, and Adaptation
By Louis Frederick Douglas, 58, retired juvenile court judge, Atlanta, GA
“At a high level fatherhood is the same three things to all of my children: Attention, Affection & Acceptance. And I’ll add a fourth – adaptation.”
“Attention is the active time spent in the presence of a child in an environment that’s safe and offers organic opportunities to develop conversations. Good fathering means listening to what’s being said & what’s not being said.”
“Affection is simply unconditional support. As a somewhat introverted dad who is not comfortable with public displays of affection I am learning to offer unapologetic full throated outbursts of affection.”
“Ultimately the goal of Fatherhood is to create ways to nurture what’s best in my children. Accepting them as they are promotes a positive healthy child. I want to set an example for them to be confident in who they are and most of all, I want my children to feel loved and accepted for who they are. That’s all they need.”
“Sometimes the daily rhythm of life is interrupted by unexpected events. In those cases my children will need to see me pivot and offer a surge in fatherhood. They may need me to drive 8 hours in the drop of a hat, or stay the night in the hospital room along with them. They may even need me to pick up and move to another state to support them. In the past I have done all of the above.”
“In short, a true father does not practice cookie-cutter love for his children. True fatherhood requires love, creativity, wisdom, and intuition spread generously to children individually, always paying attention, offering affection and acceptance.”
Love, Protection, Patience, and Growth
By Khayree Clark, 29, civil engineer, Stockbridge
“I believe as my children grow the definition or message will always change for me. For at this moment just means love, protection, patience, and growth. These 4 things are what I believe is needed to be an effective dad. Most times I am learning and gradually failing at times. Sometimes I say to myself ‘I could’ve handled that better’ or ‘I should’ve said something else rather than that.’
“There are also those times where their growth and learning begin to blossom and have their cute moments. Like even watching them dance with mom just shows the good moments. Masking my smile with my little jokes and witty remarks. However, on the inside I’m glad they can smile knowing that I’ll make sure they are taken care of even on days I may not be up to par.”
“I always asked God why you were blessed with this responsibility. I don’t think I deserve it at times. Sometimes I think my kids could do better. Question: Do my kids love or even like me? I think I’ll get my answer as time goes on. Until then, I will continue to provide those four qualities the best I can but also discipline and show them the path we want them to walk.”
Developing Character
By Darryl Lockett, 40, director of whole health and health equity, Indianapolis, IN
“I believe that parenting, whether by a mother or father, fundamentally develops character. As a parent, God has entrusted you with the responsibility to shape and mold the heart and mind of another one of his children.”
“Fathers have a unique opportunity to equip their children with the necessary skills, resources, and confidence to fulfill their dreams and reach their full potential. The ceilings that I reach will be the floor from which my children start their personal and professional lives. I recognize that embracing these responsibilities means showing my children a love that surpasses any they will receive from others in their lives.”
“Fatherhood taught me about my own shortcomings”
Nate Prince, 44, insurance agent, Stockbridge, GA
“Fatherhood to me is the beginning of life honestly. All my experiences in life, growing up and going to college and doing all that different stuff but life did not truly begin for me until I became a father.”
“Fatherhood taught me a lot about my own shortcomings and it taught me patience, what I put my mom through a lot of times and the folks who were raising me because I see a lot of myself in my children”.
Raising Chase like Charlie raised me
By Donnell Suggs, 46, journalist, Jonesboro, Ga.
“On Monday afternoon my nine-year-old son Chase and I called my father, Charlie Suggs, at his home in Brooklyn, New York for his 80th birthday. The triangle of lineage from my dad to me to my son has been something that I had been thinking about lately, and when we all got on the phone that day I felt a rush of exuberance. Fatherhood, to me, means keeping that legacy between the man that raised me and the boy that I am raising. Hearing myself tell my son the lessons that my father once told me still freaks me out. In a good way though.”
“Chase and I regularly go to our local Waffle House in Morrow for breakfast and lunch. We have been doing so since he was four years old and at this point he knows the staff and manager there, and they know him. My dad used to take me and my twin brother Darryl to breakfast at local diners just like that. The way he treated me shapes the way I treat my son today. I always try to thank my dad for that. I can’t truly thank him enough, so I try my best to raise Chase the way my father would be proud of.”