After being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2021, advocate Daphne Meyers decided to elevate her mission of creating safe spaces and encouraging early detection by launching EmpowHer and Him. The organization aims to empower those who have been diagnosed and increase the visibility of men in the breast cancer conversation.
The Atlanta Voice talked with Meyers about the organization’s annual brunch, the importance of early detection, and what it means to be on the frontline of this fight.
The Atlanta Voice: EmpowHER and HIM recently held its annual breast cancer awareness brunch. What’s been the most important part of getting to see how much this organization and the people who support it have grown?
Daphne Myers: “When we started, it was called the Tatas and Tutus. I was an advocate for breast cancer, but had never really thought much about the men. It wasn’t until the second year that I was like, ‘Well, men can get breast cancer, so why am I not getting men to come to this event?’ The first year, none. In the second year, we probably had four, and one of them was my son. So I said, ‘Okay, I’m getting interest. Men are buying the tickets, but they’re sending their wives or sisters or daughters; they’re not coming.’
“I changed the name in the third year to Tatas, Tutus, and Ties. The most rewarding aspect of that is seeing how it has grown from year one to year five. We probably had at least 60 men this year, and that’s grown from having none, to a year of four, and then maybe double that the following year. And so now it seems as if we have just as many men in there.”
AV: “I love that. Let’s go back a little. EmpowHer and Him is about uplifting every fighter, men and women, going through this battle. Can you talk about how the organization began?
DM: “I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2021. Based on my diagnosis, I thought, ‘I’ve always been an advocate, so where do I go from here to raise more awareness among men and women?’ Being diagnosed with breast cancer, you’re all over the place. First, you have to accept it, and then second, you have to figure out how to navigate. You’ve got to decide whether to do treatment or not, and how it’s going to affect your livelihood. So the questions that were in my mind as someone with breast cancer at that particular time prompted me to say, ‘You know what? If I had those questions, there are millions of other people who have those same questions. And if I have the answer to it, then I need to open up my mouth and be able to give the gift of awareness.
“This is bigger than me. It’s bigger than the Tatas, Tutus, and Ties. It’s about bringing about awareness, not just for women, but also for men. In the past year, I found myself doing a lot of speaking engagements, and a lot of men, just like women, don’t know about breast cancer. That’s where EmpowHER and HIM came about. I had to use this mouthpiece to bring about awareness so that people know that early detection is key. If I tell one person, then that person tells someone else; it becomes a domino effect. Your work is not done, but it keeps going.”
AV: I think that’s so admirable that your fight became perspective, and it became this thing about you wanting to lend a helping hand and be a support system for other people who may be going through their own breast cancer journey or fight.
When it comes to the aspect of men being diagnosed with breast cancer, why do you think there’s not a lot of visibility in their fight?
DM: “There’s no talk about it. Even from the medical profession, there’s not a lot of talk about it. I did an interview, probably about two or three weeks ago, and I was talking to this man about breast cancer, and he said, ‘Yeah, you don’t think about men with breast cancer.’ I said, ‘But you have a chest.’ He says, ‘OK, well, let’s maybe say breast and chest cancer.’
“People don’t understand that they have breast tissue; this is our breastplate. It’s not just prostate [cancer], and it’s not just colon. We have to come together and understand that yeah, it may be a small percentage, but it is there. When you see the Susan G. Komen’s or the American Cancer Society, you see women, and the men are in the background. With EmpowHer and Him, we’re both standing there side by side. So that’s why the ribbon is half pink and half blue. It’s about making it more relatable to them. Men don’t know that they can get a mammogram. When you go to fill out your paperwork, it says, when was your last period? How many pregnancies? You’re putting on this pink robe to get your mammogram, all of that. Our medical society doesn’t even pay attention to it as much as we should.”
AV: What do you think there needs to be more awareness about when it comes to breast cancer?
DM: “Early detection. That’s the key to anything. I know it sounds cliché-ish, but we have to start with checking our breasts and our chest at an early age, and especially if you have a history of it in your family. Because I was diagnosed with breast cancer, it kind of moves the scale up for my children to be checked.
“People of color, our breast tissue is more dense, so it goes undetected. On a regular mammogram mine was missed the first time. It wasn’t until I got the 3D that detected my breast cancer. Had I gone on and thought it was clear, I may not have been sitting here talking to you today.”
AV: For those that are looking for resources or someone to talk to, what can EmpowHer and Him be for that person?
DM: “I’m frontline, and what better person to be frontline than the person who’s actually going through it? I get calls every week of a new diagnosis, and I have to put a lot of hats on. I have to speak, because the one thing people want to know is, ‘What’s your suggestion?’ Do what’s gonna be best for you. Don’t just run with the first thing and then say, this is what I’m gonna do without checking deeper into it. The other thing is for resources. When you’re going through treatment, you’re not gonna feel good. I had to go through 18 rounds. You’re tired, you’re sad, you go into depression. So you have to battle with all of those things. There are several support groups that are out there, including with us.
“I found myself telling people to just start journaling. Do what makes you feel good to get you through that. Ask for help. It’s not a death sentence. Just because we’re diagnosed with breast cancer doesn’t mean that that’s our end. It’s actually a beginning. And it was a beginning for me, because I was on one side of the Richter scale as an advocate, to now I’m a surviving advocate, and my goal is to put this out there as much as possible and really help bring about this awareness with me.”
AV: What does it mean for you to be on the front line and to see what the organization has grown into?
DM: “I’m proud of myself. And a lot of times people say, ‘Oh, you shouldn’t brag.’ No, I am. I’m proud of myself, I’m proud of my friends, I’m proud of my family, because while I was a survivor of the disease, they were survivors of me, because they were there with me. I’m proud when that person comes to me and says, ‘Man, that event that you had opened up some doors. I’m gonna get tested.’ ‘I didn’t know that, because I’m a male…’ or ‘I didn’t know that just by changing your diet to this, that and the third could help…’ ‘I didn’t know how to do an exam.’
“My first scare, believe it or not, was when I was eight years old, so by the time I was diagnosed, that was my fifth surgery. So it’s here. Unfortunately they say that there’s no cure, but there are some things that we can change. We just have to take care of ourselves, love one another, keep down the stress, and survive this game.”